Mortifying

I've had a lovely afternoon with friends and they've both regaled me with funny stories.  Last week Brenda had called into her local library. All of a sudden she heard a man's voice saying 'Stand still and put your hands up'.   She turned round to see what was going on to find everyone in the room looking at her.  Two security guards approached her and said 'put your hands up. She raised one hand and when they said 'and the other one' she replied  ' I can't raise my other hand'. A female  staff member came over to her  and discovered that she was wearing a TEN's machine.  Someone had seen the cable sticking out the bottom of her jumper and thought she was holding something against her chest... They thought she might be a suicide bomber and were being cautious. She's a blonde 57 year old lady... not that I assume blonde 57 year old ladies couldn't be  up to no good.  They are going to dine out on that tale for ever and a day.  She was a police officer for 30 years before retiring.